A new British Vogue article titled “Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” has taken social media by storm in the past few days. Written by Chanté Joseph, the article details the decline of social media influencers hard-launching their relationships online, opting for more subtle posts which indicate that they have a partner, but not much more.
“[W]omen are opting for subtler signs–a hand on a steering wheel, clinking glasses at dinner, or the back of someone’s head…obscuring their partner’s face when they post, as if they want to erase the fact that they exist without actually not posting them,” Joseph wrote.
This idea of “soft-lauching” one’s relationship has become a trend within the last year, with influencers and everyday users alike carefully monitoring how they document their relationships online.
“I think being single has definitely become more appealing online,” senior Claire Lollar said. “I feel as if people are scared to post their relationships for fear of being judged, and I relate to that because, personally, I think people will get annoyed if I post by my boyfriend all the time.”
Joseph argues that this reluctance to post one’s partner on social media highlights a broader trend: women simply don’t care to have a romantic partner.
“From my conversations, one thing is certain: the script is shifting. Being partnered doesn’t affirm your womanhood anymore; it is no longer considered an achievement, and, if anything, it’s become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single,” Joseph wrote.
While the opinions shared in the article have struck a chord with many on social media, the real question is: how true is this statement for the girls of Center Grove High School?
“No, it’s not embarrassing to have a boyfriend. You do you, girl,” senior Taralyn Plunkard said.
“I literally have a boyfriend, but I think it’s embarrassing when your boyfriend becomes your whole personality,” senior Maya Beaumont said. “I think it’s acceptable if your boyfriend is—I’m not going to say an accessory—but someone that you exist outside of.”
“Boyfriends as a concept are so embarrassing. Like, you’ll see a group of girls just being cool and having fun, and suddenly there’s a man and you’re like oh,” senior Kenlie Clifford said.
“I think having a boyfriend on the DL is ok, where he isn’t your entire personality; however, being super PDA in the hallway or obsessing over a guy is—just, no,” senior Nia Borhan said.
Obviously, the general consensus is mixed. For some, having a boyfriend is something fun, whereas others view it as something cringeworthy or unnecessary. Interestingly, when the question was reframed and students were asked “How do your friends talk about relationships—as something exciting, dramatic, or unnecessary?” answers suggested that maybe the problem wasn’t having a boyfriend, per se, but the trials that come along with being in a relationship.
“Gosh, where do I even start?” senior Callie Painter said. “Some of my friends make being in a relationship seem incredible, and I’m so happy for them that they have found their person, but the ones who make it sound like a chore? I want to break up with their boyfriend for them.”
“I mean, not to quote Jo March, but [women] have so much more purpose than fawning over a boy. It upsets me when relationships or a guy is all a group of girls has to talk about, because we are so interesting and have thoughts and ideas about so many things,” Beaumont said.
Taking this idea into account, the message of Joseph’s article becomes clearer. Being partnered isn’t embarrassing; rather, putting up with the drama and emotional exhaustion of an unstable relationship is what women are shying away from. For some, relationships are a source of joy and growth, while for others, independence feels more empowering. What’s changing isn’t the value of love itself, but the way young women define happiness—not by who they’re with, but through who they are.
